we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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