2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
