Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
