im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
