two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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