that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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