we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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