this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
