dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
