so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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