Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
