he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
