Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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