We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
