it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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