Im at strip club and am horny
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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