I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
