Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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