Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i think i just lost a toe
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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