Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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