Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
