Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
