your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
