Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
