I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
