I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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