What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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