I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize