Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
