What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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