adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I fill condoms, not promises.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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