ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
