The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
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no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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