I feel like I'm in dance class right now
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
