he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
