I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Please, let me fuck your mom
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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