if you like me you must not know who I am
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize