So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
