We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
