THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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