Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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