he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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