I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
