I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
