Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize