Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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