I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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