but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
