This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
