That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
