She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
