I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
