No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
