I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
