I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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