I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
FUCK WHALES
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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