I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
