I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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