I hate your face
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
