Buhtt sex?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
